


tell me im more than this

by N1VA



Series: old stuff new exposure [14]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: And Gets One, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bruce Wayne Tries, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hearing Voices, Joker (DCU) Needs a Hug, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Suicidal Thoughts, and succeeds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:33:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1VA/pseuds/N1VA
Summary: gonna add to this one too
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Series: old stuff new exposure [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149803
Kudos: 21





	tell me im more than this

Laughter filled the cool night air. Laughter, and the distinct sound of an aerosol spray can being used. Joker giggled loudly as he painted brick after brick.

The paintings had started on a whim. Joker left the warehouse only after Harley and Ivy kicked him out for the night, even after he told them in graphic detail the things he’d heard them do behind closed doors and expressed how little he cared. Somehow, despite all his valiant efforts, the girls still dragged him away from his comfy chair.

Joker let his hands do as they wanted. He had very little artistic knowledge, beyond the fact that certain bodily fluids made for an excellent, if a little distasteful, paint. He gave a wicked grin upon remembering one of his more creative pieces. That’s when he heard it. 

[Jokes, just stop. This is pathetic. Look at yourself, painting you and your little “greatest enemy” all happy and shit. Never gonna happen, and you know it.]

He was maybe a little out of it. Just a bit. Maybe he’d forgotten to take his meds. Maybe the little creatures he saw out of the corner of his eye seemed more real than usual. Maybe there was a voice whispering into his ear about all the things he didn’t like about himself. Things he be very happy to forget about. Things much better left unsaid and unknown. Maybe he wished Harley had let him stay with her instead of forcing him to be alone.

Maybe he wished someone would hold him and tell him everything was okay. 

Maybe that someone happened to be the subject of his paintings.

Maybe the subject of his paintings was Batsy.

[He doesn’t even like you. He couldn’t even tell you he hated you. What kind of greatest enemies can’t say those three little words to each other? Hmm? He doesn’t want you around. He wishes you would just kill yourself already. It’s pathetic how you think he cares at all. You should jump off the next bridge you see, you’d be doing everyone a favor.]

Joker dropped the spray can to the ground. The metallic clang was loud enough to scare a nearby cat, which yowled and ran off around a corner. 

[See? You can’t do anything right. This painting? A product of some disgusting little fantasy. You’ll never have this. Never.]

Joker crouched down, lowered himself enough to sit on the cold concrete of the alley. He knew it wasn’t a real voice. That didn’t make it go away, though. Knowing something isn’t real doesn’t stop it from being any less effective if you believe in it. It certainly didn’t make the words any less devastating. 

[Utterly pathetic. What are you gonna do? Cry? Scream? Make a scene so your knight in black armor comes to save you? He won’t. Not this time. Not once he realizes how worthless you are. Batman doesn’t want you, and he doesn’t need you either. He said it himself. He doesn’t do relationships.]

Joker brought his hands up to his ears. Of course, this did nothing to keep the voice from getting to him. He reached back enough to grab a fistful of hair, yanking hard enough that a few strands broke beneath his fingertips. 

Strong arms wrapped around him from behind. Hands bigger than his own grabbed his, lowering them slowly. Joker was pulled into a seemly tender embrace by someone in black armor. 

“Batsy?” he whispered, not daring to believe this was real even for a second.

“Harley told me you left without telling her where you were going. Said you were off your meds again. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Then I saw this go down and… Well… It looked like you were having a hard time.” 

“No, no that’s not right. Harley kicked me out. I was there. I saw that. That was real.”

Batsy shook his head. 

“Harley kept asking you who you were talking to and you ignored her. Apparently you kicked yourself out.” 

Oh.

“Why? Why are you being so nice to me, huh? It’s not like you care.” Joker said bitterly. 

Batsy pulled Joker into himself even closer. His soft breath tickled Joker’s neck.

“Because… Because we’re greatest enemies. And I do care. I care more than I probably should, honestly. I hate you, Jokes.” Batsy confessed into his green curls.

Joker knew he should keep himself from saying what he was about to say. He knew better than to spill himself like that. But he couldn’t bite his tongue in time to stop the words from flowing out. 

“Hate means love.”

Batsy huffed, squeezing him tightly. He shifted so that Joker’s head was resting on his shoulder. Joker looked up at Batsy best he could from his position. He wondered why Batsy hadn’t pushed him away yet.

He wants to make it hurt worse. He’s stalling for time so that when he kicks you to the curb it makes you break even harder than it would if he did it now. He’s not doing this out of kindness, or care, or that false sense of love you keep going on about. 

Joker closed him eyes, this time he did bite his tongue. He was not going to cry in front of Batsy. He was not, he… Wet tracks down his face told Joker he had failed in his efforts to stave off the tears.

Soft fingertips wiped those tears away. Batsy cupped his chin, tilted his head up to look at himself again. He’d taken off the mask.

He’d taken off the mask for Joker. He cared enough about him to remove the last barrier of protection against his identity in front of him.

Joker was openly sobbing now. This was all too much. More and more black, fleshy creatures swarmed his vision until he shut his eyes again. The voice had grown silent, be he feared its return enough that he started shaking. Everything was too much. 

“Hey, shh. It’s okay. I’m going to take you home, well, if you want to go there, I mean. I’ll take you wherever you want, but we can’t stay here.” 

Joker couldn’t answer him in that moment. He just twisted his body to tuck his head under Bruce’s chin. He buried his face into the black armor covering his chest. Once again, Bruce’s arms wrapped around him, this time lifting him as the man stood. 

“H-home.”

“And where is home?”

“Wherever you are.”


End file.
